The Story of a Hormonal boy
by Deadwiff
Summary: The story of a boy who started to like a girl, then messed everything up. Really badly.
1. The Building

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"He was getting bored at recess, he was getting a feeling that he needed something. He decided that something was the need to be attracted to someone. At the time, he had no questioning thoughts about it; he wanted to like a girl. He didn't like any of the girls in his own grade, none of them were fresh. He wanted someone new to him. Why not the girls in his friends' grade? They had brothers that were in his own brother's class, and they hung out all the time anyways. He was an awkward boy and never really had many friends other than the ones he was really close to. So, he decided to go watch them play soccer on one of the other fields. He started to go out to recess with these friends and stopped just watching eventually. He started to play soccer with them, and he figured out which girls there he liked. /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"There was a girl he had always found attractive and there was another one that had just caught his attention that year. The one that he had always been attracted to, intimidated him. She was good at everything and very pretty; he even got the feeling that she was smart. The other was different. Sometimes, before the bell rang to let them go out to recess, he stood and looked at the two, who were very good friends. He knew he was attracted to both of them, and thought he only had the ability to become friends with one of them; he had to choose./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"He stood one day before the bell rang to let them free for the brief fifteen minutes they had, and he decided. He decided the one that was shorter, cuter, and more vivid, in his mind. He dedicated his recesses to becoming her friend. He was still a shy person, but he knew how to talk to girls without sounding like a blundering idiot. He only knew how to use sarcasm though, so that is what he used, and that is how they became friends. During the process of becoming friends, he learned what he could from his resources available to him; he was stalker-like, very creepy. She was the reason he made an Instagram account, so he could practically stalk her even more. He was quite weird. As their friendship grew, he became more and more scared of what he could lose if she found out the terrible truth of the way he felt about her. He liked her more and more every single time they interacted. He became more and more wary too. They had a small banter, they called each other mean, and kept making reasons for how the other was meaner than themselves. He loved this game they played; it was exclusively between them, no one else was with them in this connection. They were very good friends, and he kept liking her more and more. She made a post on instagram, asking if people wanted her to rate them; he, of course, wanted her to, hoping he would get a 10/10 or the equivalent of it. He knew he wouldn't, he was very cynical and pessimistic. The result was still satisfying to him; he got the lowest score possible. She said it jokingly, of course, adding the common comment she used to describe him, "You ruin everything." There were also emojis, just so he could be 100% sure she was joking and take the rate as a sign of real friendship. He was not awake when she sent the message, but it was a wonderful thing for him to wake up to the next day, and year for that matter./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"Luckily for him no one had a clue he liked her. He did strange things, hoping to give it away, as if he found their friendship getting boring, even though it was something he looked forward to everyday. He loved the one time she playfully nudged him as they were walking in from recess. He loved it the one time they were playing something on the porch, waiting to go home, and she ended up on his the lap of his left leg for a moment (that sounds really creepy now that I wrote it, but it happened). It was the classic game of push on the person next to you on the bench, almost the opposite of tug-of-war. He loved those moments when they were genuine friends. Yet he still yearned for more. He gave hints to his friends that he liked someone. The amount of letters in her name, ten. He made the first letter of each of his posts on Instagram spell out her name. He even changed his bio on Instagram to a group of words that spelled out her name using the same method as before. He was obsessed with her and no one knew it. Eventually his friend found out, only because he let them find out. His most precious secret was out, among two people, then three, then four. He became scared that she would find out, that she would know. He was scared that once she did, she would never talk to him again. She didn't find out that year. His friends sealed their mouths, and no one else even guessed. Near the end of the school year he made a post asking people to ask him questions. At this point, he had made her start to wonder who he liked, he was getting bold. He made the post hoping she would ask that question, "Who do you like?" He would respond with one word, "You." Unfortunately for him, she never asked this exact question. She asked a similar question and gave him choices of people he did not like. She never asked those exact words, because if she did, then he would have answered, and she would have known. They messaged each other for a couple of days. He eventually asked her who she liked. She never told him before something happened. It was a Saturday. He was pressuring her, into telling him who she liked. He closed the app, and when he opened it again, the conversation they were having was gone, erased from the program. He was afraid he overstepped his boundaries and pushed too hard for the answer. He let her be for the summer. He was crushed./p 


	2. The Destroying

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"The next school year they were still friends, but people had grown and things had changed. Their friendship was not as major, but they were still friends. No more calling each other mean, that had stopped a while ago. He played soccer with her class still, although he had grown and become more athletic and physically able than before. They still had a decent amount of skill over him. He was much faster though, and for what they were doing, that was pretty much all that mattered. Things were pretty normal, he was excited to go to school everyday to see her. She unknowingly conditioned his brain to absolutely love learning, and he loved that he loved to learn. They played soccer for weeks, about two months, then came smARTs week. Both of them were in group two. He was absolutely thrilled. SmARTs week also happened to be the same week as the championship for soccer. They spent almost all day together. Then came Wednesday. With Wednesday came a field trip. It was the day between the semi-finals and the championship. They took a field trip. They were close to each other on the bus; right across the aisle, actually. They played games like Mafia, and their group of friends talked a ton. When they arrived at their destination, they were split into two groups, by last name. He was the last one to be put into the first group. She was in the second group. He was devastated. He lost potentially a couple of hours of talking just to her. When he could see the other group he glanced longingly at her. He became jealous, some asshole was talking to her the whole time. What infuriated him even more was that he saw her laughing at what the asshole said. He was mad. The next part of the field trip, they were only in one group. They toured a local Italian market warehouse. They were with two of their mutual friends, and he had a great time. They went back to school, they got back early, so they decided to play world cup. He was on a team with her and one other girl. They were great. He was enjoying himself. He had a wonderful day. When he got home, he couldn't stop thinking about her. She had been on his mind all week when he was at home. Her face, her smile, her laugh, he was quite obsessed. He had swim practice that night, but he decided to tell her the truth. Before he swam he texted her, "Hey, can I tell you something important?" And he was off to practice. /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"When he got out at 9 o'clock, she had just texted him six minutes ago, he didn't respond right away, he was in public and surrounded by people he didn't trust. Not that it mattered too much anyway, he had already typed out what he wanted to say hours before. He just had to copy and paste it in. He told her that night, Wednesday, November 4, 2015, how much she meant to him. He poured his heart into the message he sent. It was the first time he opened up and told a girl how special she was to him. He told her how much time he spent thinking about her. She responded; he was already in bed when she did. He couldn't stop smiling. Not because she liked him, but because she didn't hate him. Because she was still okay with being his friend. She told him how sweet he was and made a joke. Things were fine that night, and the next. Then he went crazy./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"Friday. He texted her asking why she hated him. She didn't, he was just paranoid, and, from her point of view, absolutely insane. He over analyzed absolutely everything he could. She was a tiny bit awkward the day after he told her, obviously (according to him) because she hated him now. He was a mess. He realized that he was becoming extremely sad when he was away from her. She didn't drift away from him, he pushed her away. Forcing conversations with her, he utterly destroyed the friendship he worked so hard to create. He knew they weren't friends anymore. He asked of her and impossible tasks, even if she wanted to do it. He asked her to be his friend again./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"He asked her if she could talk to him everyday. He knew it would be awkward, at least at first. He might have felt that they were never friends. That they were strangers to each other. At that point, he really did want her friendship again. She couldn't help him, she didn't want to help him. He was defeated and annoyed. Then came the winter school dance./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"He was trying to avoid her, he knew things were bad and was scared to make things worse. His friends were trying to make him ask her to dance, he didn't want to; he knew she would say no. His friends then told her to ask him to dance because he was being a coward. As they went over to her, he sat down defeated. He then walked over to them, he wanted to explain to her what was happening. She ran off to the bathroom. He left her alone that night./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"The next day, he was playing a game with his friend. His friend was snapchatting her. He mentioned him. She responded by saying, "Tell him to shut up." This put him into a rage. He was angry, not only at her, but at his friend. His friend, who worsened thing between the two, and she, who was hurting him, but she might not have known. He angrily texted her, trying to explain what happened the night before, but she wouldn't respond. He thought she blocked his number. And that's how things were throughout winter break. He wished her a merry Christmas on that day, but got no reply. After break, he went to talk to the school counselor. She was nice, and she helped them become somewhat friends again. He was always suspicious of what she was doing. He was obsessed with not losing her again. He tried to talk to her as much as he could. He was clingy./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"February 13, 2016. It was a Saturday. His friend was in a group for a project with her and they skyped to work on their project. He was invited along in the call. They stayed up until 5:36 AM February 14, at least she did. His friend got off sooner. And his other friend stayed up until 7 AM. They were talking and having a great time. He was still being weird. He was still obsessed with her even though all of his sorrows stemmed from her. It was his fault his problems existed, but they revolved around her. They were getting tired, it was five in the morning, when she suddenly left the call and didn't rejoin. He left after 30 minutes of waiting for her to return. He went upstairs to his bathroom. He retched, he was vomiting, but there was nothing in his stomach to vomit. He was throwing up stomach acid. Simply because she left without saying anything. Just, poof, and she was gone. His friend said it was because her internet cut out, but he was skeptical. He retched, and retched. He couldn't sleep. His heart was racing. It was beating so fast he was scared. It wouldn't stop thumping, "That's too fast, way too fast," he thought. He was lying awake at seven AM even though he'd been trying to sleep for over an hour. He was scared. He was vulnerable. Time passed and he constantly kept asking her to Skype with him, over, and over. He would not give in. He was determined to skype with her. She always came up with an excuse. "Oh sorry, I have a soccer game early tomorrow morning." She would say that she could later, but then never would. He knew she didn't want to. He was tired. He was sad. He was defeated./p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-indent: 36pt;"One day at recess, he saw her doing something with his friend. He instantly grew nauseous. He went home. She was playing a game with him that she didn't even know she was playing. She would avoid him. She tried to do it subtly, but she was bad at it. He always noticed. By the end, he felt like she was becoming friends with the people he was friends with. He tried to avoid her, but was always still attracted to her. He tried to stay with his new friends, but then she showed up and stole them away from him. He didn't want her to be near him. It broke him whenever he saw her. To him, it was a reminder that some people won't like him, and he was okay with people not liking him. The thing he had a problem with was that he was only okay with it when he didn't like those people back. But he was obsessed with her, and as far as he knew, she absolutely hated him. But then again, he was completely crazy./p 


	3. The Repair

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"He graduated. He no longer had to see her, possibly ever again. He was possibly happy. He grew to be happy. He loved being happy. He saw that she was going to a camp he loved going to. He asked her about it. He thought she would thoroughly enjoy it. He went to the same camp later in the summer, right after he ruptured his eardrum. At camp, he couldn't hear out of his right hear, needless to say, he was thrilled. At camp, he met a girl. He like the girl, and the girl like him. They started dating. He went back to his old school. The first time, when she saw him, she stopped playing soccer, and went to playing football. How quickly and obviously she left when she saw him was. The second time, she actually talked to him. She even posted a picture that he was in, and tagged him in it. She then deleted it before the next morning. He was glad that she wasn't completely giving him the cold shoulder. Every now and then he would comment on her Snapchat story. It would almost never turn into an actual conversation, but he didn't care, he had his girlfriend. He enjoyed life. He apologized to her for being an asshole. He apologized to her for blaming her for his problems. He apologized for making her deal with his shit and his insanity. He should have thanked her for being as kind as she was, but he didn't. He broke up with his girlfriend, it went well, he wasn't feeling anything anymore. He felt bad. It was February 15, the day after Valentine's day. February 20 was supposed to be their 6 month anniversary. He felt like an asshole. /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;" /p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"He saw her story on Snapchat. She was going to a sister school of his new one. They might have to take the same bus the next year. She commented on his story of his friend. He enjoyed talking to her as a friend, and when he figured out that they might ride the same bus, he was genuinely excited that there was a chance that they might become friends again./p 


End file.
